From Jay’s pastor:
I am one of the pastors of Circle of Hope in Philadelphia (since 2004). This private page seeks to address a series of violations inflicted by Jay Beck over a number of years. I have known Jay since we met as 20 year olds at Cornerstone 1999, and was part of psalters for the better part of 1999-2011 at varying levels. I want to speak to the process of developing this apology as well as to Jay’s sincerity.
In the church, we prefer to handle victim/offender interactions in a face-to-face manner, in the spirit of Jesus’ directives in Matthew 18. Forgiveness, healing, and restoration are not easy goals, but are possible. This situation, however, because of the geographically widespread offenses, required a different strategy. In the Fall of 2013 Ched Myers & Elaine Enns called together me, victim advocates Nekeisha Alexis-Baker and Hillary Brown, and Jay and his partner Tevyn East for a series of conversations by Skype about how to proceed with accountability, healing, and repair. Collectively we decided that a good first step would be for Jay to post an apology to victims and the affected communities (below), along with an invitation for the possibility of facilitated dialogue with victims willing and able to do so.
I believe that Jay’s repentance and growth has been significant and sincere. If you wish to have direct or facilitated contact with Jay, we can arrange for interaction by Skype, over the phone, or in person (if resources permit). You can contact him directly, or you may choose to consult me or my wife Martha, a leader in our church who has experience with many local restoration processes.
This a confession and a public apology.
I am desiring to acknowledge and repent of certain actions and behaviors that I have had towards some female friends and colleagues over the years that has been immature, selfish, and violating. I have come to an understanding that the first step to doing so is to acknowledge that these events happened and that they matter.
I have been accused of, and, with the right understanding of the term, correctly been identified as a sexual predator. I am confessing to committing sins against women including lust, inappropriate touching and molestation. For the sake of clarification, these events have never happened with minors nor have they resulted in sexual intercourse of any kind.
I have spent the last few years of my life trying to root out the causes of my behavior in order to understand the motivation for what was drawing me to these actions.
I am by no means trying to justify anything that I have done that has hurt people. I have nothing but regret and remorse and embarrassment towards my behavior. I hate how it has hurt people that I care for, and how it has tarnished the reputations of people and organizations that have supported me or have been affiliated with me. I am aware of the intense damage they have done and I am committed to repenting of these actions.
Although, I am deeply sorry and committed to those behaviors never reoccurring, we all know that isn’t enough. If acknowledgement is the first step, then digging up the roots of why it happened is what is next needed. Over the past few years, I have placed myself in new relationships of accountability with professional therapists, pastors, trusted elders and friends as well as a dynamic, intense honesty and openness with my fiancee. Those relationships have dealt out some fierce love that has demanded that I change, and I have been listening.
Alongside of the hard words and advice and accountability I have been receiving from them, I have also been doing serious soul searching into my past and into my psyche to try and understand where these behaviors and actions stem from, why I was drawn to them, and I believe that by understanding them better, I will be better equipped to deal with future temptations.
I hope that this writing can shed some light into the process that has helped me recognize the harmful consequences of my past actions and also serve as a sign to those who desire to know that those actions and behaviors are not going unchecked or continuing to happen.
Should anyone desire to speak with me further I am willing and open to moving forward towards reconciliation. My contact info is:
If you desire a third party, facilitated conversation with me either through conference call or skype or in person, that is also available. To begin that process, please contact Joshua or Martha at the numbers above.